Ivan Yakovlevitch found a human nose folded inside the loaf he was slicing; the bread smelled warm and yeast-sweet, but the thing in his hands did not belong. He froze, knife halfway through the crust, the kitchen light catching the pale curl of cartilage as if it belonged to some other life. At almost the same hour, in another apartment, Collegiate Assessor Kovalyov reached for his mirror and discovered his nose was gone.
Ivan sat down at the table to eat his breakfast, cutting into the loaf of bread his wife had just set out. As the knife slid through the crust, something strange happened. He felt resistance, as though there was an object embedded within the bread. Puzzled, Ivan pulled apart the loaf, and to his utter horror, he found something utterly unexpected inside: a human nose.
"Good heavens! What is this?" he cried, staring in disbelief at the small, flesh-colored object.
His wife, startled by his outburst, rushed over to see what had caused such a reaction. She was shocked by the sight of the severed nose lying in the bread.
"What have you done, you fool?" she exclaimed. "You’ve brought home trouble!"
But Ivan Yakovlevitch had no idea how the nose had ended up in the bread. He had no explanation for it whatsoever. Trembling, he held the nose in his hands and turned it over. To his utter bewilderment, he recognized the nose as belonging to none other than Collegiate Assessor Kovalyov, a local government official who often visited the barber shop for shaves.
At the same hour, news would later show, Collegiate Assessor Kovalyov woke and, reaching for his mirror, discovered his nose was gone—an absence that sent him into immediate, practical panic.
"What am I to do with this?" Ivan whispered frantically.
His wife, ever practical, had no patience for his panic. "You must get rid of it immediately! What if the police come? You’ll be blamed for this!"
Without much time to think, Ivan decided to heed his wife’s advice. He quickly dressed, wrapped the nose in a piece of cloth, and dashed out into the streets, determined to rid himself of this grotesque discovery before anyone could see it.
The city was waking up, and the streets were beginning to fill with people going about their daily business. Ivan darted through the narrow alleys, clutching the wrapped nose in his hands, trying to figure out how to dispose of it. He considered throwing it into the river but feared being caught in the act. Every corner he turned seemed to present a new obstacle, and every passerby seemed to glance his way with suspicion.
Finally, after much hesitation, Ivan slipped down to a less populated part of the city and tossed the nose into the water of the Fontanka River, hoping that would be the end of his troubles.
While this bizarre incident was taking place, Collegiate Assessor Kovalyov himself was waking up in his apartment. He stretched, yawned, and reached for the mirror as he often did, preparing to inspect his face and ensure that his mustache was neatly groomed. But to his horror, when he looked at his reflection, something crucial was missing: his nose.
Kovalyov’s hand flew to his face in disbelief. His nose was gone—gone, as though it had never been there in the first place. In its stead was nothing but smooth, flat skin. His heart pounded, and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead.
"How can this be?" he shouted. "How can my nose have disappeared?"
Frenzied, he leaped out of bed and began searching around his apartment as if the nose might have somehow fallen off during the night. He overturned pillows, blankets, and furniture, but there was no trace of it. The thought of venturing out in public without a nose was too horrifying to contemplate.
In a daze, Kovalyov dressed himself and left his apartment, desperate to figure out what had happened. As he wandered the streets, his thoughts raced. Was it an illness? Some sort of punishment for past sins? How could he possibly explain his missing nose to others?
But as he roamed aimlessly, something even stranger caught his eye. Walking ahead of him, dressed in a fine uniform and appearing entirely unremarkable, was his own nose—detached from his face but strolling down the street as if it were an independent person.
Kovalyov blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked again, convinced he was hallucinating. But no, there it was, clear as day, his own nose, walking about with purpose. It even stopped in front of the Kazan Cathedral and appeared to kneel as if praying.
"Impossible!" Kovalyov whispered, still in disbelief.
Overcoming his shock, he rushed toward the nose, determined to confront it. But as he drew nearer, the nose seemed to quicken its pace, and before he knew it, it had entered a carriage and was speeding away. Frantic, Kovalyov hailed another carriage and gave chase, but to no avail. The nose had escaped him.
At a loss for what to do, Kovalyov decided to visit the police to report the disappearance of his nose. He imagined that the authorities might be able to help him track down the runaway appendage. When he arrived at the police station, however, he was met with skepticism and mockery.
"Lost your nose, you say?" one officer asked, barely concealing his laughter. "And it’s walking around the city like a man? What nonsense!"
Despite Kovalyov’s frantic pleas, the police seemed to think he was either mad or pulling some sort of elaborate joke. No one took him seriously, and Kovalyov left the station feeling even more despondent than before.
He wandered through the streets once more, now filled with dread and humiliation. He had no idea where to turn or how to recover his nose. He tried visiting doctors, but none of them could offer any solutions. Some suggested strange remedies, while others simply shrugged and advised him to accept his fate.
Feeling utterly lost, Kovalyov decided to visit a newspaper office in the hopes that placing an ad might help him recover his missing nose. He entered the office, explained his situation to the editor, and asked if he could place an announcement in the paper.
The editor listened patiently, though he, too, seemed skeptical of Kovalyov’s bizarre tale. "You wish to place an ad about your missing nose?" he asked.
"Yes, it’s gone missing, and I need help finding it," Kovalyov replied desperately.
